I am sure that people think that you don't get to be close with patients when working in a retail setting such as Walgreens. I also suspect people feel they would not tell the nurse practitioner so much about themselves in a 15 or 20 minute visit.
Just today I saw a patient whose father at the age of 51 is dying of brain cancer, and she is home visiting him for the holidays, and unsure of when he will pass away. I had a mother hug me crying because we did not turn her daughter away for lack of insurance, and I gave her meds that were on the $4 list at walmart.
I had a woman tell me of her daughter that just passed from CJD, a neurological condition for which there is no cure while in for her flu shot, or another mother that told me about her 31 year old son on the heart transplant list, or another woman telling me about how hard it is to deal with raising 2 children ages 1year and 6 years after her husband had just been killed in a car accident when he was hit by a drunk driver.
This gives quick care a misnomer. Sometimes it is surely not quick, and often times it is the care that you don't even realize that you provide that the person needs.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
My Charity Failure
Over one year ago, I read a novel titled "The Christmas Jars" by Jason Wright. This novel created the urge in me to give my own Christmas Jar. I saved my change for the last year, and added dollars as well. By the end, the total was somewhere around $170. I didn't count all of the change because well I didn't feel like it. I then asked my friend if she would mind if I anonymously gave it to her brother who was having a hard time. I had thought of giving it to him since about June, and asked my friend in November.
I had planned out the delivery for weeks. I put the jar in a box that was decorated for Christmas, tied closed, and had his name on it. I put it in a box because I thought if it was in a bag, the bottom would rip, and dump the coins on his front porch. I also put his name on it so everyone in the home would know it was for him. I enclosed the book with a written letter in the front cover, but no identification of the giver anywhere. I dropped off the box to his front porch while everyone in the house hold was at a wedding. I figured I would know quickly what happened through my friend. We waited to hear something, and waited, and waited... On Christmas itself, she snooped through the house looking for signs of the box, a jar, the book, anything, and...nothing.
It has been about 3 weeks since the delivery, and my friend called me today to let me know that her mother called her, and let her know that my friend's other brother (not the recipient) found over $10 by his house in coins when he went for a walk. He had seen 2 other people pass this same spot and not see the coins. My friend's sister found over $3 of change in a similar location. This means many things. First, obviously the box was stolen from their front porch. I truly hope the person that stole the box benefits from it. Secondly, I think it is a very ironic situation that 2 other people in the SAME household found large amounts of change while walking by their home. I think it is also especially ironic that the intended recipient did not receive anything.
This makes me wonder what I am supposed to learn from this situation. Maybe it is because I did it for somewhat selfish reasons giving it to someone I know so that I would be able to hear how it helped their life that the box was stolen. Maybe that person needed such a gift even more than the intended recipient. Maybe I am supposed to realize that no matter how much I control a situation and plan for it, it really is out of my control, and in God's hands. Maybe I am supposed to do a Christmas Jar in a more anonymous manner, but I really wanted to help the intended recipient. Maybe I am not supposed to tell anyone about my acts of charity (which makes this blog pointless), and donate in such a way that no one knows. Maybe I was meant to deliver the jar in person to the recipient so that he knew someone cared.
I have already started collecting for this years' Christmas jar. I can only wonder what kind of mystery will occur with this jar.
I had planned out the delivery for weeks. I put the jar in a box that was decorated for Christmas, tied closed, and had his name on it. I put it in a box because I thought if it was in a bag, the bottom would rip, and dump the coins on his front porch. I also put his name on it so everyone in the home would know it was for him. I enclosed the book with a written letter in the front cover, but no identification of the giver anywhere. I dropped off the box to his front porch while everyone in the house hold was at a wedding. I figured I would know quickly what happened through my friend. We waited to hear something, and waited, and waited... On Christmas itself, she snooped through the house looking for signs of the box, a jar, the book, anything, and...nothing.
It has been about 3 weeks since the delivery, and my friend called me today to let me know that her mother called her, and let her know that my friend's other brother (not the recipient) found over $10 by his house in coins when he went for a walk. He had seen 2 other people pass this same spot and not see the coins. My friend's sister found over $3 of change in a similar location. This means many things. First, obviously the box was stolen from their front porch. I truly hope the person that stole the box benefits from it. Secondly, I think it is a very ironic situation that 2 other people in the SAME household found large amounts of change while walking by their home. I think it is also especially ironic that the intended recipient did not receive anything.
This makes me wonder what I am supposed to learn from this situation. Maybe it is because I did it for somewhat selfish reasons giving it to someone I know so that I would be able to hear how it helped their life that the box was stolen. Maybe that person needed such a gift even more than the intended recipient. Maybe I am supposed to realize that no matter how much I control a situation and plan for it, it really is out of my control, and in God's hands. Maybe I am supposed to do a Christmas Jar in a more anonymous manner, but I really wanted to help the intended recipient. Maybe I am not supposed to tell anyone about my acts of charity (which makes this blog pointless), and donate in such a way that no one knows. Maybe I was meant to deliver the jar in person to the recipient so that he knew someone cared.
I have already started collecting for this years' Christmas jar. I can only wonder what kind of mystery will occur with this jar.
New Years Resolutions?
Ok, so I know I haven't written in a long time, and one of my goals is to pay more attention to my blog.
As I was preparing for the New Year, I reflected on 2009, and also on the things I want to change in 2010. Thinking about all of the things I want to change has left me overwhelmed more than refreshed. I have always refrained from making large resolutions because I have always felt that one is set up to fail if they wait until a specific date to make changes. I one year had the goal to wear more eyeliner, the next year wearing blush, and then the next was to do something different that would take me out of my comfort zone each month. That one I have done for the last several years, which has been beneficial in getting me to do many things I wouldn't normally do. I am hoping if I write down some of these goals, I can reflect on them one year from now and actually have achieved some of them.
1. Continue doing something different once a month. This continues to stretch me, and allows me to step outside of my comfort zone. I have ice skated, wall climbing, mountain hiking, swimming, skiing, etc, and hope that continues.
2. I would like to lose the 10 or so lbs I found in 2009. It has been 2 days into the new year, and I am still eating candy, so this one will be a struggle.
3. I would like to run a PR in the 1/2 and full marathon this year. This all depends on me doing the training, and getting back to the weight lifting and all of my PT exercises. I have until August to get into fighting shape. No injuries this year please!
4. I am doing a Total Money Makeover thing, and am trying to spend less frivolously. We'll see how this one pans out because I love my lipstick, shoes and purses!
5. I want to be more tolerant of others. This one occurs because I felt very convicted over the Christmas season. I was in the mall shopping and was going to turn left off an escalator, and instead turned right. I ran into a patient of mine that drives me crazy. She of course wished me a Merry Christmas, told me she was graduating with her associates degree, moved, and now her daughter was no longer with a "bad crowd", and was actually going to church and volunteering now. She then said "Thank you so much for being there for us and helping us through such a hard time, I really appreciate everything you did". This was amazing for 2 reasons. First, I felt good that I could help someone just by listening, and secondly, I felt convicted because she annoyed me so much, and she was frustrating me because she needed my help. I want to be more tolerant of other patients, and see the motives behind their actions and behaviors, and not let it get to me so much.
6. I would like to do a triathalon. I started swim class in November, and that will continue. We will see what happens, it is a lot different swimming in a pool versus a lake I am sure.
7. I want to run while in Paris this year. I am going to run the city streets if I have to get up at 5am and do it way before everyone else is up!
8. I want to brush up on French for the trip to France obviously.
9. I want to finish Volume I of the Mystery of History. I have been working on this textbook for over 6 months and am still at 1100 BC. I started this in my recent feelings that there is so much that I don't know. There are at least 2 more volumes.
10. I have 4 more books of the Bible before I have read it in its entirety. I want to of course finish those, and then continue my growth in reading the Bible.
11. I want to clean out my closet, and get rid of old things, etc. I already went through my sock and underwear drawers, and hopefully can keep this up.
After writing this list, the feelings of being overwhelmed are still there and in fact have worsened. We'll see what a difference a year makes!
As I was preparing for the New Year, I reflected on 2009, and also on the things I want to change in 2010. Thinking about all of the things I want to change has left me overwhelmed more than refreshed. I have always refrained from making large resolutions because I have always felt that one is set up to fail if they wait until a specific date to make changes. I one year had the goal to wear more eyeliner, the next year wearing blush, and then the next was to do something different that would take me out of my comfort zone each month. That one I have done for the last several years, which has been beneficial in getting me to do many things I wouldn't normally do. I am hoping if I write down some of these goals, I can reflect on them one year from now and actually have achieved some of them.
1. Continue doing something different once a month. This continues to stretch me, and allows me to step outside of my comfort zone. I have ice skated, wall climbing, mountain hiking, swimming, skiing, etc, and hope that continues.
2. I would like to lose the 10 or so lbs I found in 2009. It has been 2 days into the new year, and I am still eating candy, so this one will be a struggle.
3. I would like to run a PR in the 1/2 and full marathon this year. This all depends on me doing the training, and getting back to the weight lifting and all of my PT exercises. I have until August to get into fighting shape. No injuries this year please!
4. I am doing a Total Money Makeover thing, and am trying to spend less frivolously. We'll see how this one pans out because I love my lipstick, shoes and purses!
5. I want to be more tolerant of others. This one occurs because I felt very convicted over the Christmas season. I was in the mall shopping and was going to turn left off an escalator, and instead turned right. I ran into a patient of mine that drives me crazy. She of course wished me a Merry Christmas, told me she was graduating with her associates degree, moved, and now her daughter was no longer with a "bad crowd", and was actually going to church and volunteering now. She then said "Thank you so much for being there for us and helping us through such a hard time, I really appreciate everything you did". This was amazing for 2 reasons. First, I felt good that I could help someone just by listening, and secondly, I felt convicted because she annoyed me so much, and she was frustrating me because she needed my help. I want to be more tolerant of other patients, and see the motives behind their actions and behaviors, and not let it get to me so much.
6. I would like to do a triathalon. I started swim class in November, and that will continue. We will see what happens, it is a lot different swimming in a pool versus a lake I am sure.
7. I want to run while in Paris this year. I am going to run the city streets if I have to get up at 5am and do it way before everyone else is up!
8. I want to brush up on French for the trip to France obviously.
9. I want to finish Volume I of the Mystery of History. I have been working on this textbook for over 6 months and am still at 1100 BC. I started this in my recent feelings that there is so much that I don't know. There are at least 2 more volumes.
10. I have 4 more books of the Bible before I have read it in its entirety. I want to of course finish those, and then continue my growth in reading the Bible.
11. I want to clean out my closet, and get rid of old things, etc. I already went through my sock and underwear drawers, and hopefully can keep this up.
After writing this list, the feelings of being overwhelmed are still there and in fact have worsened. We'll see what a difference a year makes!
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